Grieving the ambition that used to define me

The identity crisis no one talks about

I’ve spent most of my life chasing the next thing.

I started my first business at 14. Freelanced through college. Built a successful agency. Co-founded a startup. I’ve always been the kind of person who moves fast, stacks accomplishments, and stays five steps ahead.

Ambition wasn’t just something I had—it was who I was. And everyone around me saw it that way, too.

So when I shut down my agency and took a full-time role at a company, it caught people off guard. I heard it constantly: “You’ll start something new in three months.” Then six. Then a year.

I laughed it off, but the truth was—that hurt. So much of my identity had been tied to being someone who builds. Someone who leads. Someone who wins. I wasn’t just figuring out what came next. I was mourning the version of myself who always knew.

I was an ambitious person with no energy to be ambitious.

And that created a kind of identity crisis I didn’t know how to navigate:

Who am I if I don’t have the energy to be the ambition-chaser I’ve always been?

This is one of the most personal things I’ve written in a long time, and I’m sharing the rest with paid subscribers.