Halfway through 34
Of course I'm using my half birthday to get introspective.
I think we should normalize celebrating half birthdays.
Not for any particular reason—except maybe that they give us a natural moment to pause and ask: how am I doing, really?
We romanticize new beginnings, but we rarely remember to check in with ourselves along the way. This isn’t the halfway point of the year, but it’s the halfway point of my year. And so I’m getting reflective.
Short version? It’s been hard.
Long version? It’s also been worth it.
Here’s what the first half of 34 looked like:
I sought treatment for my eating disorder.
I quit a job that was no longer serving me.
I finally accepted how uncomfortable I felt in my body—and started seeking medical help.
I was dismissed by that help more than once.
I allowed work and life to consume me so much that I burned out hard.
So, yeah. Plenty of hardships, but there were also several bright points:
I launched After Burnout, and writing it has been therapeutic.
I started a new job that I’m genuinely excited about.
I ran another half marathon.
I signed up for my first full marathon, which will also make me a third-generation Detroit Marathon runner.
I started reformer Pilates, and I love it. I can feel myself getting stronger.
I can feel my body starting to change because I’m actually taking care of myself for the first time in a while. My hunger-fullness cues are starting to come back. (It’s strange highlighting normal bodily functions, but when you can count on two hands how many times you’ve felt hungry in 6 months, it’s something to celebrate.)
So no, I can’t say it’s been easy. But I also can’t say it’s been bad. I was tested on so many occasions throughout the first half of 34, some of which I passed, others I totally failed. Those failures also taught me what’s actually important to me.
So as I look ahead towards 35, here’s what I want to keep my focus on:
My mental health. I don’t want to lose myself again.
Pilates. I’ll be starting a new level of training next month, and it’s the best thing I’ve done for my body and brain.
Running. I have a marathon to train for.
Relationships. I want to see friends more often and make more lasting memories.
My new job. It won’t always be sunshine and rainbows, but it feels good to be in a role that excites me.
Writing. I’ve been journaling and publishing and I want to keep doing both.
Learning French. I finally have the mental capacity to take learning seriously again, and I want to lean into that. (I leave for 2 weeks in France tomorrow, so I’ll be getting a swift kick soon!)
This isn’t a “look how far I’ve come” kind of post. It’s more of a “I’m still going.”
And honestly? That feels like enough right now.
(I’m curious if anyone else gets introspective around their half birthday or if this is a side effect of being a corporate girlie as I conduct my H1 retro and do H2 planning. Don’t worry, I’m not setting OKRs for myself.)