This year had other plans for me
A reflection on missed goals, unexpected progress, and letting go of the timeline I thought I was on
I have a favorite late-December ritual. I take myself to a coffee shop, order something I don’t normally drink, and spend a few hours looking back before I look ahead.
I review the goals I set the year before. I notice what I stuck with, what I abandoned, and what quietly fell away. Then I set goals for the following year, usually feeling optimistic and very reasonable about all of it.
I like this ritual. It feels grounding. Intentional. Like I’m doing my part.
This year was… humbling.
I accomplished exactly one of the goals I set last December: joining a Pilates studio. I’m about 120 classes in, so that one stuck.
The rest? Not a single one.
I didn’t hit my reading goal for the first time in years. I gave up on “one race per month” once it became incompatible with marathon training. And I didn’t end up running a marathon at all, largely because I learned more about what my body couldn’t handle in its current state.
I also totally fell behind on learning French. C’est comme ça.
December 2024 me would probably look at that list and conclude I failed the year.
But December 2024 me also couldn’t have predicted what I actually did accomplish.
This year, I strengthened my relationship with food after getting an eating disorder diagnosis. I finally understood why my body has felt different for so long and why it hasn’t responded to diet and exercise the way I expected. I was diagnosed with lipedema, and I have the first of three surgeries scheduled for January 7.
I also came to terms with the fact that my previous working situation was untenable. I left, and I started a new job where I feel seen, valued, and empowered to do my best work without feeling like I need to do everything myself.
And I created this outlet. A place to write honestly about what I’m thinking and feeling, even when it’s messy or unresolved. I didn’t plan for how much this would resonate with others, but it has. I’m deeply grateful for every free and paid subscriber who’s here.
None of that was on my goals list.
That’s the realization I can’t shake as I look toward 2026. The things that mattered most this year weren’t the things I set out to optimize. They emerged as the year unfolded, often in response to constraints I didn’t know were coming.
So I’ll still spend a day at a coffee shop setting goals. I like the ritual too much to give it up. But I’m holding those goals more lightly now.
The year is going to move on its own timeline. All I can do is meet it where I actually am, not where I thought I’d be twelve months earlier.
very reasonable about all of it.
I like this ritual. It feels grounding. Intentional. Like I’m doing my part.
This year was… humbling.
I accomplished exactly one of the goals I set last December: joining a Pilates studio. I’m about 120 classes in, so that one stuck.
The rest? Not a single one.
I didn’t hit my reading goal for the first time in years. I gave up on “one race per month” once it became incompatible with marathon training. And I didn’t end up running a marathon at all, largely because I learned more about what my body couldn’t handle in its current state.
I also totally fell behind on learning French. C’est comme ça.
December 2024 me would probably look at that list and conclude I failed the year.
But December 2024 me also couldn’t have predicted what I actually did accomplish.
This year, I strengthened my relationship with food after getting an eating disorder diagnosis. I finally understood why my body has felt different for so long and why it hasn’t responded to diet and exercise the way I expected. I was diagnosed with lipedema, and I have the first of three surgeries scheduled for January 7.
I also came to terms with the fact that my previous working situation was untenable. I left, and I started a new job where I feel seen, valued, and empowered to do my best work without feeling like I need to do everything myself.
And I created this outlet. A place to write honestly about what I’m thinking and feeling, even when it’s messy or unresolved. I didn’t plan for how much this would resonate with others, but it has. I’m deeply grateful for every free and paid subscriber who’s here.
None of that was on my goals list.
That’s the realization I can’t shake as I look toward 2026. The things that mattered most this year weren’t the things I set out to optimize. They emerged as the year unfolded, often in response to constraints I didn’t know were coming.
So I’ll still spend a day at a coffee shop setting goals. I like the ritual too much to give it up. But I’m holding those goals more lightly now.
The year is going to move on its own timeline. All I can do is meet it where I actually am, not where I thought I’d be twelve months earlier.
"The year is going to move on its own timeline. All I can do is meet it where I actually am, not where I thought I’d be twelve months earlier."
Another quote of the year (puns somewhat intended). Thank you for sharing your journey. Life has a lovely way at laughing at our goals sometimes. Your insights have been really helpful for me. Cheers for MMXVI!!