When there’s nothing left to solve but yourself

I’m an adrenaline junkie, but with a b2b SaaS flavor

I’ve spent the last few years living in a state of constant urgency.

There was always something on fire. Always a blocker to unblock, a problem to solve, a decision to make. It shaped the way I operated—fast, sharp, reactive. And while I may have complained in the moment, I think I grew to love it. I know I seek external validation to an extreme (just ask my therapist), and doing well at work is such an easy grab.

Now that I’ve stepped away from that world for now, everything is… quiet.

And I’m realizing my brain doesn’t know what to do with stillness. It’s not terribly surprising, to be honest. I’ve never been good at disconnecting while on vacation or really had the true luxury of doing so.

But my brain keeps looking for the next big thing to fix. The next sprint, the next blocker, the next burst of adrenaline.

And there isn’t one.

My brain is still looking for a big problem to solve, when the only thing I need to solve right now is myself.

I never thought of myself as an adrenaline junkie, but it seems the adrenaline I’m most addicted to is the kind you can only find at a B2B SaaS company.

That’s hard to sit with. Embarrassing, really. But I’m trying.